Last night, while my buddy Dale Gribble and I were hunting for player bases, we ran up on one located on the north side of Altis. We located the base just before the restart and logged off.

AFter the restart, Dale and I had a lengthy side chat with a player (Pure Joy) who was upset that anyone would shoot at him or raid his base. PureJoy just wanted to be left alone.. Looking back, it’s pretty clear that no one told PureJoy about the server’s “play style” before he got busy building a base.

PureJoy was quite upset that we were at his base.

Apparently he was unable to relieve himself of a much needed bowl movement during restart because he knew he needed to rejoin the server and protect his base.

Gotta say… that must have been pretty uncomfortable… trying to guard your base while keeping a terd from turtle-heading out of your butt.

Anyhoo, this PureJoy was VERY upset, not only because of the loaf he was struggling to hold in, but because we would enjoy raiding bases or killing other players. He vowed that he would destroy me, yet refused to leave the “safety” of his base. He cried out for help, and his buddy Dues answered the call.

Dale made things clear to PureJoy and to Dale’s credit, he had a lot of patience with the player. In fact, Dale delighted in the back and forth banter. I, however, feel foolish for trying to reason with PureJoy. He ignored my attempts to explain things. Side chat turned excessive, ugly and then PureJoy started threatening us. I decided to make PureJoy my personal project that night (and told him so).

I drove up to the base that PureJoy was hiding in. PureJoy laied into my Stryder with an impressive burst of automatic weapon fire. (I later learned that he was using a light MG with 5.56 ammo.. lol)

I hopped out of the Stryder and shouldered an RPG that we had taken off the guys defending MD Lion’s base. I clumsily lobbed the RPG round thru the window of PureJoy’s base. It was satisfying… fire and smoke shot out of all his windows for a second. I guess you could say that it was pure joy killing PureJoy.

I liked shooting that RPG so much that I decided to take aim at his nearby helicopter as it waited patiently for PureJoy to return and fly around. My little girl used to watch a show named “Thomas the Train”. In the show, there was a little helicopter. The animated face from that little heli flashed briefly in my mind as I left clicked my mouse. Sadly, the little helicopter will not be flying ever again. The fireball was incredible.. so pretty to watch things burn.

If you thought PureJoy was upset because we were keeping him from pooping, you can imagine his outrage when Mr. RPG flew threw his base window. How did he NOT shit his pants?

I guess we added fuel to the fire because PureJoy was so upset that he side-chatted insults during his respawn.. He typed SO MUCH that he forgot to open his parachute. I witnessed his fall to earth thru the thermal lens of my drone.. It looked like a white meteor streaking down to earth. I think of it as the first shooting star I’ve ever seen in ARMA. Thank you for that PureJoy! *wipes away a tear.

I spotted Dues “sneaking” up on me with the help of the drone that was orbiting overhead. I almost lovingly observed as he approached cautiously. He was like a timid little bunny rabbit. I watched as Dues moved from cover to cover, sometimes pausing to look thru his rangefinders. I decided that Dues was not worth the bullet and simply ran him over as he fired away at my vehicle. You can ask Dale Gribble, I LOVE RUNNING PEOPLE OVER. Too bad there is not that satisfying “squishing noise” that you get when you run over zombies.. maybe I’ll suggest that to the dev’s

After Purejoy and Dues rage-quit, we raided his base by breaching one of his wooden walls and removed his flag. It was just a level 3 flag.. no biggie. We helped ourselves to the gear that he had stashed in his wooden storage crates. Well that is a lie….. actually we took ALL the gear. We did, however, leave one of the beers as a gift. I was suprised to find that breaching the wooden wall was not even necessary as PureJoy had not bothered to put a lock on one of his base doors. We should have walked right in..

The purpose of this post is to get the attention of anyone who may incorrectly assume that moosepuncher Exile Altis is NOT a PVP server. Do not go thru the time of building a base if you think that no one will raid it. Learn from what happened to PureJoy and Dues.

To be clear, on the server, players will kill you, rob you, attack your bases, destroy your cars, and camp AI missions. If you do not like that, then it probably is not the server you should play on.